Sometimes I just want to be alone, it feels like I have this burning ache deep inside just to get away from it all.
Funny though how loneliness is the one thing that slowly tears me apart.
Silence around me but my mind I can never completely quite.
Secretely I am terified of being alone and silently I cry.
No one can wipe away my tears for invisible tears are the hardest to wipe.
Afraid to let my mind take over.
Afraid to think, because thinking makes me lose grip of reality.
A reality that doesnt seem to exist in my life - living in a fairytale just seems so much easier and less painfull.
This is me.
But who am i realy?
Life made a change in me and I am just really scared.
Scared of everything.
Scared of everyone.
Sometimes i want to run away but the ghosts of my past clings to me like a shadow - never letting go, not even in the dark.
Restless nights I roll around - not even my dreams can offer me an escape.
Nothing can keep away the fear that has been burnt deep into my soul, wild beasts ripping me apart.
In silent halways I scream.
I scream above the crowd just to recieve a hollow echo.
I wish I could be alone, just me, myself in complete silence without you fear having an unbreakable grip over me!
Written in 2010
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